Parenting Practices of Malay Culture

MALAY CULTURES

 Discipline

In terms of discipline and its use, a great deal of stress is places on the Malay concept of parental love.




A child who loves his parents, the mother in particular, is one who is obedient and cooperative, conforming the wishes of the parents. Mothers frequently correct undesirable behaviour by threatening to withdraw their love. When asked what they consider to be their favourite method at correcting undesirable behaviour, parents chose giving advice as the method they most prefer. Malay parents may be regarded as emphasizing love-oriented techniques of discipline. Children are advised and directed by the use of value-statements which give prominence to maintain harmony or relationship between children and their significant others. In contrast, value statements stressing future economic deprivations consequent on failure to meet standards are relatively fewer. (Kuo, Wong 1979)

Educational

Children are more often admonished for not trying than for failure to attain success. But there are however observable changes among some Malay parents in regard to the method being used to correct misbehaviour and to instil a sense of achievement in children. Withdrawal of privileges and criticms are more and more utilized though parents as a matter of choice would not like to use such methods. The last is an extension of the traditional attitude against the use of invidious comparisons among children in the same family in matters pertaining to their performance of various task including school examinations. But Malay parents are increasingly conscious of the fact that passing examinations alone is not enough. Children they say ought to do well in examinations. Giving encouragement to their children so as to induce them to attain success remains the most preferable method. (Kuo, Wong 1979)

Life/Goals

Malay as a cultural identity is often associated with Muslim holding custom-adat and occupying Malay areas. However, such definition merely produces reductive definition on what is Malay since not every single Malay person is Muslim occupying Malay areas and holding Malay custom-adat.

From this point we may say that Malay is not solely a single and homogeneous cultural entity, but, indeed, it is a very heterogeneous one. Malay is like a house occupied by people with different points of view as the consequence of different religious and believes. At the end, the differences on religious and belief systems like above, later on create cultural diversities on custom-adat, conceptual cosmology,time and bread and butter system.

MelayuOnline.com attempts to explain and elaborate Malay philosophy of life based on that cultural diversity which comes out of the multifarious philosophy of life of the Malay people. Therefore, MelayuOnline.com would like to categorise Malay philosophy of life into seven subjects consisting of Malay philosophy about God, cosmology,time, work and destiny, humanity, ghost and ancestor. (Kuo, Wong 1979)

Socialization

Members of same generation normally treat each other as social equals whether they are relatives on the father’s or mother’s side. Status differentiation is essentially a function of generational differences. The Malay concept of respect should be seen in this context.

Malay affection for children has been noted in several studies. Social, religious and economic values are associated with having children. The early years of socialization are thus a period during which nurture and succour afforded the child is marked. Crying children are immediately attended to. In the past it used to be believed that too much of crying caused fits or convulsions.

Within the family, the Malay child grows up emotionally secure but also independent. The impulse of the child is directed towards socially approved forms of behaviour. Thus socialization is perceived as the process of gradual habituation to behavioural forms which are socially approved and religiously idealized. This means in essence that the child is awakened first of all to the existence of certain social requirements in the family. The child learns these through precept and imitation. Harsh words are seldom used and are considered improper and unnecessary. The child therefore gradually internalized the various states of mind evoked by such words as segan; malu; takut; hormat; kurang ajar; taat; hutang budi; budi bahasa; tolak ansur;sesuai menyesuai; sopan santun and tata tertib. Socialization in thus quietist-directive, being emphatic of certain desirable social and religious modalities of behavious considered to be proper, correct and which conform to adult expectations. (Kuo, Wong 1979)

Reference
Kuo. C. Y, K. Wong. 1979. The Contemporary Family in Singapore: Structure and Change. Singapore University Press. Singapore. (accessed date 4 December 2015)